Life can really suck sometime. When you feel down about anything, and if you don’t have someone who is going to hold your hand through those shitty times….life sucks even more. Like a black hole that sucks you into an eternity of blackness. Not many people have someone to hold their hand, even if you are in a relationship…that partner of yours doesn’t necessarily understand that they are the one that needs to be there for you. A lot of people want to give up on life because they feel lost in the darkness. Read on…and read it all. I may go all over the place, but that is how I am.

My whole life I grew up without a father, or even a father figure. My mother was the one to raise my two siblings and I completely on her own. She didn’t really have that person to hold her hand even when she was married to my alcoholic ex-stepfather. He never held her hand through those dark times.   Isn’t that what marriage is though? “Through the good and the bad, in sickness and in health”. And a relationship….do most people just look at it as a person to claim as their property? Does no one see anymore the point of a relationship? To find that person to share your life with..the good, the bad…all of it.

I wanted to get married, but now I’m not so sure….I wanted to have kids (I still sort of do) but I’m not sure I want to bring a child into this shameful world. I don’t want to see them hit dark times like I have, even though I would be that person to hold their hand…sometimes kids can’t always tell their parents. My mother is the one who holds my hand, even though I can’t tell her somethings I want to vent about. And my boyfriend holds my hand…but men SUCK at communication. Listen to what I have to say, how something you do or say makes me feel. Put yourself in my shoes and tell me how it’d make you feel if I did it. I know I don’t always think things through, but most of the time I do.

Anyways, there are a lot of people out there….thinking about how terrible life is. How life is so bad it might not be worth it. I promise you it is. No matter how dark your life is, it is worth it. If you don’t have that person to hold  your hand, there is hope that you will find someone in a similar position that WILL hold your hand. That will be your support. No life is perfect. Everyone is battling the darkness, and unfortunately some people have more darkness surrounding them than others. But everyone can and will find that hand to hold. You just have to stick it out, and in the end you will be glad you did. Don’t let the darkness take ahold of you, because when you cave that darkness you had will fall onto someone else. And most of the time, that darkness will fall onto loved ones because of the absence they feel with you not there for them. Maybe you are that hand to hold to someone else.

4 thoughts on “Life

    1. I hope the best for you! Just know you aren’t alone, and there is always support especially in the least places you are to think. Don’t be scared either, because that can hurt you in the end. Better things are to come. My hand to hold is my current boyfriend and he was the one who helped me realize I needed to get out and was there to support me without even realizing it. Better things come and will come for you!!


  1. Hi girl! came across this post when looking for some positive words on feelin alone. It hit home. I have been in a relationship for 4 years and after losing both parents within one month of eachother I COMPLETELY understand the boyfriend sucking at communication. As much as he may be a rock to me, communication is key. I’m so sorry you had such a poor experience in your life with people being there for you. I can promise you that no matter how great this man may be, without any communication he is not the one. But like you said you WILL find someone to hold your hand through life. Keep you head up and thank you for the reassurance that i am not alone ❤️

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    1. Thanks Marissa! I am no longer with that man, and my mom is not with the man that wasn’t there for her. I am glad that my blog has helped you and that was what my aim is! some people do not understand they are not alone and I want them to know they are not!


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